So, it's the end of my birthday weekend and i have just started on contract. About 15 minutes ago? Haha i'm here because i'm already almost asleep. I think i haven't slept enough. Maybe i should sleep more. I think i will.

Yesterday i spent another morning of my Birthday Weekend teaching. Very exciting indeed! After that i stoned around then went out for dinner!! Thanks lovely Sumee Audrey Cheeyao Junqi Kevin Nic Zhifeng for celebrating with me, thanks for the present and the free dinner hahahaha! :) I am rather tired from all the playing (although it appears now that 15 minutes of contract is far more tiring than a weekend-full of play!) which kind of explains the lack of energy in this post. Hahaha there are so many photos to look through and upload. I shall be taking my time with that. In any case, it was by far the best weekend i've had in ages, and it was much needed, too.

Thank you people for so much so much <3

the video eliza linked to is really pretty!! I know it's weird to describe music that way but um.

last night was fun. i miss our batch a ton.

i spent today googling fo allison celia and playing parts of plants vs zombies.

and sleeping.

so to celebrate frankie's birthday, we went paintballing. HAHAHAH it was really funny how me and jade were whining abt not wanting to go for the entire week and actually ended up enjoying it the most at the end of the day. got shot in the head by ruihao, not cool at all. but other than that, it was pretty good.

we've been ending days watching films everynight till four five in the morning and then waking up to reallise that its long past lunch time :( on guy fawkes night, we went up to weeks 7th to watch the fireworks and sang cheesy love songs while dancing with deli, jade, hamish, joel.etc and yesterday we went to the cinemas to catch saw 6 which was gory gory and more gore. scurried back in the rain with plans to drink and get wasted but ended up watching half of twilight instead (:

i should get some wrk or reading done. it seems like everyone except me is wrking :( shall nap now after HUGE breakfast to compensate for no sleep last night. jade's coming back today, miss her already <3 then dance!

IT WAS SUCH A PLEASANT SURPRISE. I am happy and relieved and everything :) I really really couldn't ask for more. I'm really touched. it was really so sweet. I think it was exactly what i needed at this point. I'm so so so so glad. I could go on and on about this, actually. But shall just leave it at that. Because, things are just Like That. Nice and comfortable.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Last night, i had such a great time. Having a nice dinner at a nice place with my WONDERFUL FAMILY with great food. Hahaha which birthday celebration is complete without a nice dinner at a nice place? Well it wouldn't be, for my family at least. Not that we need the food. We're happy and fine on our own. Just that we're all damn greedy and like food. So. HAHAHA. Great food. Thank you Daddy Mummy Meiz. Even though you guys don't read this. I really had such a wonderful time, i couldn't ask for more. Previously, my best birthday celebration was 7Nov2006 when it was the Esplanade Recital Studio concert (Beethoven Op. 31 No. 3, 1st movt, I remember) and i wore my green dress and had Nasi Lemak for dinner. THIS YEAR'S OWNZ EVERYTHING. Haahahaha. It's great to spend time with the family and talk serious stuff and crazy stuff and stilly stuff and whatever else. Thank you for being there for me! LOVE YOU ALL. Once again, i am very thankful. Ever thankful.

I think it still hasn't hit me just how soon finals are. The fear still hasn't sunk in and all I'm feeling now is panic and OMG my first paper is on the 23rd kind of feeling. But procrastinators usually get the memo late, you see. I can't wait to feel that pee-inducing fear so that I will work harder than I am now.

I HATE PROJECTS. They suck up a huge part of my life and deprive me of my time to study. I just spent a good half of my in school compiling and formatting the arsed ACC project, which is totally not worth the time and effort we have put in. 180 marks for 15%?? Go eat pangsai! And group meetings are one time INEFFICIENT that I got so pissed off just now. On hindsight I feel bad showing temper, but seriously?! Stop being so slow and NUAAAAAAAA, like we need to chop chop because I want to get on with my life I don't care if you want to continue doing this for the rest of the sem - I AM NOT INTERESTED. Grrrrrr

And I'm officially falling sick yay. 


OMG WHAT'S WITH ANGST-DRIVEN NIGHT? Sucks.

My only semblance of a life this week -  3 movies last night in the krub room with the best company ever. Saw VI is totally lousy and mild, (500) Days of Summer made me feel in love, and Zombieland was just - dots. The 3 of us snuggled up on the couch together and laughed and laughed at how completely messed up the show is. 
Nice.


Webcast and CCK beckons! BAI ):

Haydn's Commemoration Concert 2009 aired on okto tonight (good job PAP!)
the music was exquisite, the choir and soloists were brilliant and the Haydn Hall at Esterházy Palace was beautiful.
I personally believe classical music is one of the most beautiful music forms around.
and as the camera panned across the choir and orchestra, I was convinced that humanity is simply superior on this planet.
the sheer brilliance behind the mind who composed such beauty, the people who mastered the instruments,
even the artist responsible for frescoes in Haydn Hall;
does this not convince you that humans are capable of so much?
many argue about how animals' lives are worth as much as human life.
i'm sorry but i beg to differ, A LOT.
the human creative capacity and pure genius is what separates us from animals.
this is what gives human life its value.
i speak from experience, a human being, sans its creative ethos, is very worthless indeed.
when life leaves the body, what is it then? i find myself lost in my morbid musings quite often.
without the personality, charisma and person inhabiting a body, the human form is nothing.
after observing multiple lifeless bodies in my short lifetime,
i can't help appear seemingly presumptious in saying that the body is but a shell, and it is life that makes us human.
this always makes me wonder what the true embodiment of life looks like.
for example the flavour vanilla. one can find out what your "vanilla flavour" looks like simply by buying a bottle of vanilla essence,
or for the scientifically-inclined, by drawing out the chemical structure of vanillin.
similarly, what does human life look like? what does the essence of humanity look like?
because of such abstract thought-processes,
i sometimes find myself going through the day from a third-person point of view,
detached, almost, from my physical body.
i think i can understand now, why some people push the limits of their bodies,
run ultramarathons, go base-jumping, climb mountains.
they know the life they're living isn't there yet, they know what they currently have isn't all there is.
the desire to live and fully utilize one's humanity is often limited by the confines of one's flesh and bone,
but not everyone cares much for limits. those people are awesome.


all this because of Haydn. 
i feel ever so slightly insane right now.




NB. for those who do AS, this post might appear to take the form of a Red Herring fallacy.
but i assure you, I am not posing an argument, which makes comitting a fallacy rather impossible.

SHIT I'M SCREWED. Cos. I think i spoilt one of the keys. It's the C that is 2 octaves below the middle C. It doesn't bounce back up!!!!! And. There's a funny sound coming from inside the piano when i play the A above the middle C. I THINK I SPOILED MY PIANO SHITZZZZ. I shall have to tell Mummy/Daddy later. Actually it's not really my fault lah. It's cos...

My piano muscles are back!! My fingertips are hurting. THIS FEELS GOOD HAHAHAHA. I'm so happy. Thank you Brahms Mendelssohn Copland Granados Beethoven Mozart. You guys are fantastic. Actually. I only just realised i played so many composers. I feel like a FLIRT hahaha. I love the company of these guys. But most importantly, The Boyfriend!!!!! I WILL DIE WITHOUT YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. I LOVE YOU FOREVER <3

Thank you for tolerating my random spamming and banging. I've never felt so strong at the piano before. I think it's because i really haven't played the piano for ages so i have lots and lots of accumulated energy to spare. My fingertips are flat now. And red. Hahaha but now my arms feel like jelly. Melly jelly. Melly jelly welly. BUT I'M HAPPY. Although it sucks not being able to express what i want to sometimes. But today, i'm happy to be able to sit by your side and run my fingers across you. You're beautiful did you know that?

I'm so glad the thought of pursuing music never seriously crossed my mind. I'm so glad that i never seriously considered it. Because music has always been something i turned to, outside of school, away from everything else. And it's been such a long time already... 14 years? I'm glad it has been a part of me for almost my entire lifetime. Haha and each time i play a piece i learn something new. About the piece, about myself. It's great! I enjoy this learning very much. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to educate, because my students have taught me so much about myself, somehow. I'm so thankful for lawschool, because whenever i have the opportunity to play the piano, i tend to appreciate it so much so much more.

And I played myself a Birthday Song in G major. Heehee.

What better way to start my day, than with one of my most favourite activities. Sister told me to not teach on my birthday. Actually, before that the thought never crossed my mind at all. So this morning, i spent an hour each with two of my students. Haha. I was tired and sleepy. But i gave them free stickers today. Spirit of giving. Even though both of them didn't do their theory homework. I think they're very lucky today. Maybe it was Birthday Motivation, i was uhm more motivated to expend energy. I think that made lesson more exciting for them too. Oh, how i miss the pre-lawschool days when teaching was my only real activity and i had the energy to put in so much more effort. But i will continue trying.

Had lunch with myself. It's great, having some ME TIME on my Birthday, in the midst of a hectic Birthday Weekend. Nothing fantastic, just a $2.90 lunch from random coffeeshop in Bukit Gombak. But i'm happy. Anyway, Birthday Girl is supposed to have Birthday Luck. So, wanted to buy 4D to test it out HHAHAHAHA but the queue was LONG and there were no hot guys to stare at because... only old uncles were queueing. HAHA. So, i guess i don't get to have a shot at testing my Birthday Luck. So no Windfall. It's okay, though, i got pay today. Should be enough to pay for my taxi fares and dinners. At least the money came from doing what i enjoy, not because i stood bravely amongst the dirty old men. Muahaha.

So, now i shall go spend some time with The Boyfriend. YAYYYYYY (good luck neighbours)

I know why I'm having such an odd feeling. I shall recognise it and accept it. I think humans are such complex beings that it's possible to feel many things at once. Like how i'm experiencing such great joy, yet at the same time experiencing abit of sadness. But it's ok. Because it will be enough knowing that when i'm happy, i am truly and genuinely happy. I think that's all that matters because to have at least one reason to experience great joy is such a blessing already. And to experience it deep down in my heart is something I'm so very thankful for.

I think i'm not being fair to myself if i let a single negative emotion (or maybe two) overpower my positive ones, and subsequently overwhelm my entire being. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. I think i can be happy and sad at the same time. So, i will let the many many reasons why i am happy WIN. The negative emotions shall have to take a backseat. Hopefully for forever (unlikely though). I will concentrate, for this weekend at least, on being happy. Not that it's hard. I have so so so many reasons to be happy. I will be.

THANK YOU PEOPLE FOR CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME AND FOR ME!!!!
I am extremely thankful and I really couldn't have asked for more. Torts TG, ppl who sang birthday song for me.
Charles and Alyssa for the cookies.
Imran, Mubin for the handshake.
Kevin for skyping with me even though it wasn't a celebration but a rant and nuisance HAHAHA.
ALFRED, AUDREY, MARK, OLIVIA, VICTOR (and Rainer if he counts HAHAHA, ok fine he does)
And the crazy present HAHAHAHA.
Thank you so much so much so much!!!!!! :D

THANK YOU PEOPLE FOR WISHING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Be it through facebook, msn or sms.
I'm so thankful also that i have unlimited sms HAHAHA. *Act popular*
HAHAHAHAHA I'M SO HAPPY

I really can't imagine. I don't know since when I wake up in the mornings and look forward to seeing the bunch of them in the club room/lounge, think mugging in HSS with them is more fun than work, find lying on the couch with pillows and sleeping bags and talking total rubbish the highlight of the day.. Maybe it was since the day I joined the club, but I would like to think it was way before then. FOC, then Rag, then OWeek and all the random stuff in between.. I am SO glad that we're close to the 22nd (seniors) and although we call ourselves the Oldies and Young Ones, we're totally FRIENDS on the most equal terms ever. They are so can't-do-without in my life now I can't image life without my krub fwens <3<3

I know it might sound totally exclusive and elitist, but it's really the circumstances that make us as close as we are today. The countless nights spent mugging, talking rubbish in the krub room, htht-ing.. GOSH they are the reason I go to school. Seriously.


Photo log again! Hahaha more and more thoughtless entries nowadays.. Terrible tsk!

I'm very thankful for Birthday Week and all. The past few nights have been difficult, and i can sense that my difficult Tonight had started this Morning. Birthday Week dinners to look forward to are welcome distractions!!! But my mind wanders when i have to think about torts or contract or whatever else I'm supposed to be doing. DISCIPLINE!!!!! Chaaaaaaaaannel the energy elsewhere!! Elsewhere!!!!!

@2207hrs: I dislike having to do things.

i wish i could have packed all my clothes from home and shipped them off to where i am right now.
its such a chore doing the laundry, but im so proud now cos i just did a major springcleaning of everything in my wardrobe and room. hmmhmm i feel clean and smell pretty (: 

i need to stop eating so much, and start wrking out. or start being on a diet for normal kids, not starving african children :( STOP EATING SIX MEALS A DAY.

on tues, i took a hike to oxford street with eight other boys from gardens and weeks to watch the christmas lightup. however boys being boys were starving after the half an hour walk and just had to get mcdonalds (and yes i got some too) so by the time we were done, jim carey had already turned the decos on. :( so much for catching him press that switch on and shaking his hand. boohooo

last night we got to bed at 4am after a movie marathon of finding nemo and then memoirs of a geisha though i think i slept through most of the movie but still!!! (: been hanging out more with jade, ruihao, james, simon, yasser and others. i still need more sleep :( 

another thing - I AM DONE WITH ALL MY COURSEWRK :D cept for that damned excel report, but other than that i can wash my hands off the rest and be excited for frankie's birthday this friday night and bruge trip the next week. (bounce bounce)

one hour lecture today and then i'm done. life is beauuuttifuull